Today I am in the Dominican Republic, beging a seven month journey. I'm here doing mission work; something I never imagined I would be doing, but it's exciting. I know that while I am here I will experience many things, some good and some bad. When I return home I will have a different outlook on life and God will have done some huge refining in my heart. So...I'm laying it all out there, taking a look at who I am today. As my time here passes, I'll look back and see how I've grown and changed more into the image of Christ. So this is who I am today.
Today I am a 27 year old who has let life make me bitter. That's a fairly vulnerable thing to admit, but it's the truth, so there you go. I did all the "right" things you are supposed to as a young adult (acording to the American dream). I went to college, worked full time to pay for school, and graduated at the top of my class. All the while, I attended church and tried to be a "good person" but my relationship with the Lord was nonexistent. After college I pursued many different jobs, but was never hired. I looked into working on a masters degree in agriculture, but that did not work out. I also had some relationships fall apart. At the time it felt like nothing in my life was working out as I had planned. It felt like my hopes and aspirations were taken away from me. I was completely frustrated, angry, and mad at God and the world. Looking back, I realize that I was consumed with pursuing MY plans/goals rather than following the Lord's plans. Unknowingly, I was wrestling with God like Jacob did. Apparently I didn't pay very good attention in sunday school as a child.
Throughout the last few years God has been slowly breaking down all of the walls that I built up. He has revealed himelf to me in so many ways and has been showing me that He has a much bigger and different purpose for me. Many of you know that I'm involved with leading worship, which is all of God. I never planned on or dreamed of singing in front of people, yet now it's something I do on a regular basis. In many ways the Lord has been showing me that He wants to use me in ministry. So here I am in Jarabacoa for seven months, working with special needs children at Centro Especial Genesis. This is the biggest step of faith that I've ever taken, and now that I'm here it just feels right.
Today I am in progress....learning form my mistakes, turning all of my frustrations/anger over to God, trusting in the Lord's plans for my life, allowing Him to transform my heart and mind.
Today I am in the process of reformation....a life long process without a finnish line. The more I submit, the more God changes and refines me to be the Jeff he created me to be.
Today I am....a different Jeff than I was a year ago.
Jeff,
ReplyDeleteWhen I hear your story I think of the word "courage" and a quote by Laurence Boldt from "How to Find the Work You Love." He says, Love gives us the courage to believe in humanity and in ourselves. The word courage means, literally, "with heart." It takes great heart--great courage--to believe in humanity in the face of what sometimes seem like overwhelming problems.
It takes courage to affirm that the possible world that many of us have experienced in glimpses, moments of imagination or spiritual insight, is more than an idle fantasy. It takes the courage to say, like Martin Luther King, Jr., "I have a dream"--to affirm against all evidence to the contrary that one day, we shall overcome our fear, doubt, hatred, violence and pettiness.
It takes courage to commit yourself to building bridges between the world that could be and the world that is--the courage to say that you believe the world will one day be a better place and that today you are ready to do your part to make it so.
God has prepared you for just this moment so live fully in it and take courage.
Skully
Well, I don't have a mini sermon for ya, like the guy who commented above me. But I just wanted to say...Way to go Jeff!! Way to take a giant leap of faith and follow God. I'm excited to hear about your walk through life's journey. Just please don't tell us how fabulous the weather is. It's been nothing but fog all day here! :)
ReplyDeleteWow, Jeff. This is awesome! I am so excited to see how God is going to use you in these next 7 months, and the rest of your life. I will continue to pray for you, that you will be consumed with the Lord and not yourself. Love on those wonderful children at Genesis, and enjoy every second. God has big, actually HUGE, plans for your life my friend!
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