In the short week that I've been here God has begun a very good work in me. This work has only just begun; I can't imagine where it will lead. I have some ideas/hints and I continue to pray and meditate about these things and seek God's direction. Which brings to mind Ephesians 4: "I therefore, the prisoner in the Lord, beg you to lead a life worthy of the calling to which you have been called, with all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love, making every effort to maintain the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace."
I strive to live my life worthy of the calling to which God is calling me. This is a weird process, yet I'm filled with peace. I have experienced a lot of change in my life over the past month and I am very vulnerable as I am trusting in the Lord's plans and how he wants to use me in ministry. Yet, God has given me peace and joy, far more than I ever experienced when I tried to attain my own goals/plans.
During this week God has taught me humilty in a very unexpected way. At the Special Ed School, Centro Especial Genesis I work with a 10 year old boy named Vladi. He has paralysis of the facial muscles. As a result he must lift his eyelids with his fingers just to see and he has difficulty with speech and eating/drinking. Yesterday I held him infant style while he drank a bottle of juice. He must drink this way so that he can swallow fluids. I sat there holding him overwhelmed with compassion. It's easy to question God and say, "How could you let this happen to him?" but I felt love for Vladi. He is God's child and he is perfectly loved.
It hit me like a train...that is the insecurities that I have had because of my cleft lip. As a teenager I was made fun of by guys and I was and still am insecure with my looks because I thought that girls wouldn't be attracted to me. As I held Vladi and watched this 10 year old drink from a bottle I felt foolish for all the times I had looked in the mirror and stared at my lip with anger for this birth defect. Vladi cannot even look in the mirror without using his hands to lift his eyelids, yet all these years I complained to God about a fairly small scar on my face. That's "in your face" humility. I love how God just "walks into the room" when we least expect it, and we experience His presence and grace. Vladi...God used you to speak to my heart...God Bless you.
Thanks for sharing Jeff :-) It's really awesome hearing how God is using you during this time, and how he's using this time for you. I think we all need that, smacked in the face with humility experience from time to time, just to give us a bigger perspective: With more of him, and less of us. God bless, praying for you guys!
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