Play Ball

Last week the oldest man alive, who was an amazing 114 years old, died. Some words of wisdom that he left were these; "Embrace change, even when it slaps you in the face."
This week change slapped me in the face and I embraced it. Funny how a dead man that I never met spoke to me from the grave.

This past week was different and honestly, I wasn't looking forward to it, but now I am grateful for the change. Up until now I've been working at Genesis, a special education school. I've been working there for three months, so I've gotten into a routine. For the most part I know what my work day will look like and what I'll be doing. Of course with special needs children you have to be prepared for the unexpected, still it’s easy to get into a routine every week. There's nothing wrong with routine, but sometimes it takes being pulled out of your norm to see things in a new perspective, to learn from that, and grow.

This week the schools that are run by Students International were on break, but we had a team of American students here, so we ran a week long program of VBS with students from the different preschools. Each day we worked in a different community with different students and it was good to meet new people and interact with them. On Thursday I worked with Raul at the men's sports site and it was good getting to know him. At this site they lead Bible study with boys from the community (approx. age 7-14), play sports with them, and teach them lessons about life; with the goal of instilling values and morals into these boys who often misbehave and come from fatherless homes. I enjoyed working at the sport's site and while I was there God stirred in my heart, a feeling that I've come to recognize very well. God reminded me that the last few years I've been watching life pass me by. I was stuck in a routine where I was not fully engaged with life. Sure, I was living, but I was living without purpose. I was stale.

 I figure all of this culminated because I was out of my comfort zone. I was working with older kids that I didn't know. I was working with Raul, whom I didn't know very well either. I was working on a baseball field rather than in a classroom, and I'm definitely not great at baseball, I’m a soccer player. But, rather than sit back and let the day pass by, I jumped in, got dirty, had a good time and God taught me a lesson about myself and about life.

The last few years I was trapped in a routine, just going through the motions. I worked six days a week, took care of my responsibilities around the house, was involved in church, and spent time with friends. However, I wasn't fully engaged in life or with God's plans for me. You know how sometimes you daydream, starring off into space with that blank look on your face? Physically you're there, but your mind is off in "Never Never Land." That was me, except I would dare to say that the last year I've just begun to awake from a four year slumber.

I definitely could have invested more time, energy, and love into my relationships. I could have listened better. I know that often times I'm quick to speak. Instead I should be quick to listen, slow to speak (James 1:19). I didn’t intentionally try to build upon my relationships with my family and friends. Had I been more tuned in to my family and friends I could have developed more meaningful relationships. I could have asked more questions and spent more time. I could have cared more and been more sincere…..I could have been more the friend/brother/uncle/son that God created me to be.

I also gave fear too much power over me. I created my own little comfortable world and built up a wall, a Great Wall of China around me. But, I know God didn’t create me to be a coward and I know that Satan likes to use fear against us to keep us inactive. So I’m stepping out in faith and taking chances. I’ve learned that when I’m anxious or nervous it’s an opportune time to suck it up, experience life, and build character. I learned too that often times when I’m out of my comfort zone I have had some of the greatest experiences. So I’m learning to be comfortable being uncomfortable.

I was a very stagnant believer too. Sure, I went to church, was involved in praise team, and was part of a small group, but I was just a Christian, I wasn’t a disciple. Apparently I was so caught up watching life pass me by that I didn’t make the time or effort to reach out to my friends and co-workers whom don’t have a personal relationship with God. That’s a regret I pray doesn’t haunt me. I hope that God gives me a redo where the life that I lived in vain is forgiven and I can live differently, loving and investing in the people that I failed to before…..intentionally.

On Thursday, that baseball field…..those boys…..God…..taught me a lesson about myself and about the life God wants me to live. They showed me that I need to step out and take more risks, that I need to take initiative and live purposefully, and that being out of your comfort zone is a good place to be. Sometimes when we are uncomfortable we realize that comfortable is not as great as we thought it was. On Thursday I didn’t sit in the stands and watch the game; I walked down onto the field, played on a team, and had a really great time. My walls are crashing down because God’s stronger than any man-made walls that I could ever build and I’m glad for that…..I was tired of peeking over the top trying to watch everyone else play the game.